22.9.05
Random thoughts: So here I am, after 8 1/2 months, posting again. I marvel at the discipline of those who regularly post. And especially those folk who aren't completely verbose, blathering on and on. I really admire those folks' discipline and commitment. My grandfather (dead and buried since my last post, God rest his soul) said that life, largely, is about "motivation and attitude". Problem is, I often don't find myself motivated to updating this blog - or taking the time to express, in depth, my thoughts, whatever the topic may be, whatever the medium. Largely, I think, this can be attributed to my attitude that my thoughts aren't, generally, worth the paper they're printed on (or, if you wish, the electrons and phosphors which display them on a computer screen). There is part of me which wants to end this 2-year experiment in bloggy goodness (however bloggy or good), but, so long as blogger takes care of all the technical webpage issues, and Cox is taking my money for a chunk of space on their web servers, I may as well not call it a day, posting however (in)frequently. So, dear readers (who am I kidding?), I'll post when I post. No set schedule. No deadline. No quota on how many posts/words/thoughts make it over any given period of time. Although I will continue the policy, to date unwritten, that when I finish typing any given sentence/thought, I will only go back and edit it for typos or spelling errors. This is the diary I never kept (and still rarely do). As such, to go back and erase thoughts that I had seems some sort of violation, an act of editing, an act of hiding something from myself or y'all (ye few).
Could I use some sort of psychiatric treatment (such as therapy)? Most certainly. I suspect that even the most well-adjusted (in which I very distinctly do not include myself) would do well by therapy, talking things out, hashing ideas out, holding them out for judgment or some sort of dialectic/refinement process. Honing one's ideas, thoughts, emotional state, if you wish.
My train of thought has left the station (it's after 1 in the morning...in many respects my brain is like Washington National Airport - not a whole lot gets in or out between midnight and 5am.
Motivation and attitude. It's all about that. I won't go all Stuart Smalley on you.
Ryan.
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