16.12.04
Christmas: Yes, it's that time of year. Merry Christmas, everyone. I've made travel arrangements, but I still have to buy gifts and the like. And I have no idea (none whatsoever) what to get anyone else. And, in the finest Gunderson family tradition (as I found out with my brother this week - he has the same attitude), I have no idea what I want for Christmas. Well, I have an idea about Christmas presents. I don't particularly care about what I get. It's the thought that counts, after all.
Soap Opera: This is the finale of this particular episode (on the blog, anyway). I promise.
- Mystery Girl has posted, excitedly, that the ex is coming back within the next week. If only I could have made her that enthusiastic. Or maybe I need to learn that there are other fish in the sea, and she's got a hook in her (even if she's acting like halibut - as dead weight, not rushing toward the boat, and he's acting like I do when I fish - namely, he's sleeping, thus not reeling it in).
- I've probably (probably?) been too self-involved in thinking about why I haven't heard from MG in a while. I find it all too easy sometimes to focus on my needs, wants, desires as well as my responsibilities, assets, shortcomings and the like, without so much as thinking about the other person.
- Is there something here for which to assess blame? Am I making a mountain out of a molehill (or less)? If I am exaggerating the situation, what does that say about me? If there is blame to be assessed, how much of it (I think most) falls on me?
- Is it healthy for me to want someone romantically, after she mentioned Ever After? After she compared me to a former lover? After she admitted that she might have "led you on" and stated that she was not meeting to keep some emotional distance, and further stated that "you may be getting closer to me than I am to you"?
- How much of that leading-on was actually leading-on, and how much was misinterpretation?
- How healthy is it to like someone who hooks up with someone more than once, only to fret when he develops some feelings for her?
- Is it a good thing to like someone who tells someone who lied to her and betrayed her (as well as another woman) "you're not a bad person"? What the hell? I understand that there's more there, but what the hell? There's a reason that Brutus, Cassius and Judas Iscariot (traitors all, lest we forget) occupy the lowest circle of hell, isn't there?
- Why am I still asking questions? I could ask questions all night and get not particularly far.
- One last: Is it emotionally healthy to like someone that I find completely maddening - sometimes for much better, sometimes for worse?
More later. R.
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