13.12.04
College Basketball: Who cares. Conference play hasn't started yet, so your Virginia Tech Hokies aren't at the bottom of the league standings. Yet. Wake me in early February, just in time for those conference games which matter and conference tournaments.
College Football: Since I called regular season games without calling bowl games last year, I figured that I owed bowl games this season (despite not picking any regular season games). So here goes.
First, let me say that any bowl which happens before Christmas has no winners and one group of losers: the viewing public. Are you kidding me? Southern Miss and North Texas? That's not a bowl game, that's a sick joke. And Cincinnati-Marshall? Who cares? If that game wasn't in Fort Freaking Worth...hey wait, nothing would change. The matchup would still suck and no one would go. This is the answer to "What if they gave a bowl game and nobody came?" PlainsCapital would be stupid enough to sponsor it (those shareholder meetings must be fun, right? "What the hell are you doing sponsoring a crappy bowl game? That no one watches?")
So moving on to the bowls from the 27th on:
On second thought, I don't care about those on the 27th. They're both in tropical paradises (Detroit? Boise? People leave those cities in the winter because of the shitty weather). I'll only say this: Go Bulldogs!
Independence, Shreveport, La.: No title sponsor? What the hell? If you're Miami of Ohio, you have to be licking your chops because they're sending a high school team in Iowa State. Losers get fed to the gators.
Insight, Phoenix: A rematch of the 2001 Fiesta Bowl. But this time Virginia Tech isn't complaining that a scrub Leprechaun team took their spot. Oregon State 41, Arsh 9.
EV1.net Houston: UTEP gets the winner of the high school league masquerading as a Division I-A division. Colorado gets their asses kicked. They were the least mediocre team in the Big 12 North. But they're still mediocre.
Mastercard Alamo, San Antonio: OSU wins. Nobody cares.
Continental Tire, Charlotte: Isn't it only appropriate that the Tire bowl is in the redneck racing capital of the world? Oh, and, by the way, BC should enjoy its first ACC road game (no, @Wake doesn't count).
Emerald Bowl, San Francisco: Navy barely beat a scrub Mountain West team. As much as I want to pick them to win, they won't.
Pacific Life Holiday, San Diego: Cal proves how royally it was screwed here by beating Texas Tech by several touchdowns more than did Texas.
Silicon Valley, San Jose: This one belongs before Christmas. It's the scrub non-champion of the scrub conference versus its mirror image: the scrub non-champion of the scrub conference. You can't possibly expect me to care, can you?
Gaylord Hotels Music City, Nashville: The juvenile joke writes itself. As for Aladamnbama and Minnesota, well, it's enough to say that Alabama will fight back. And, as such, Minnesota (the K-State of the Big Ten) will lose.
Vitalis Sun, El Paso: If the Rose Bowl is the granddaddy of them all, then this one has to be the crazy uncle, right? Think about it. It's like the second oldest current bowl (after the Rose), and yet it matches scrubs year in and year out. This year you have the overrated quarterbacks, exposed by decent defenses. Considering they're playing each other, the game will, of course, be a shootout, scoring more points than Pachinko. Think of it as a poor man's Liberty Bowl (much like El Paso's a poor man's Memphis).
AutoZone Liberty, Memphis: The winners: the quarterbacks, who will throw for approximately 300,000 yards during this game. The losers: the quarterbacks, who will need Tommy John surgery from throwing the damn football so much.
Chick-Fil-A Peach, Atlanta: The funniest part of this is that both teams beat Florida State. And they went a combined 9-7 in their conferences. Heehee!
(Finally! New Year's Day!)
Outback, Tampa, Fla.: Both were overrated. Both got smacked late in the season. And odds on a solicitation arrest remain 6:5.
SBC Cotton, Dallas: Conference runner-up versus...division 3rd place? What the hell? And the saddest part is the conference runner-up is going to lose this game.
Toyota Gator, Jacksonville, Fla.: Two favourites to make it to Miami end up here, a couple of hundred miles short. West Virginia has the edge because, as they like to put it, they can burn shit down. And they beat fellow arsonists and rioters Maryland, whereas crapademic Fla State couldn't.
Capital One, Orlando: You can't spell Citrus without...LSU? Iowa? What? I guess that was behind the change: the SEC was tired of sending Tennessee to this, so they farmed them out to the Peach Bowl and Cotton Bowl instead. Next year, you can't spell Citrus without USC (you heard it here first).
Rose, Presented by Citi, Pasadena, Cal.: So much for tradition. Since the Pac 10's not involved, who's the host? What a crock. Michigan shows the world that the BCS crapped on Cal.
Tostitos Fiesta, Tempe, Ariz.: Is anyone else laughing at the fact that the coaches on the sidelines of this game won't be next year? I almost feel sorry for Pitt. But then I realised that I hate Pitt. Not like I did when Tech was in the Big East. But I still hate them.
Nokia Sugar, New Orleans: 28-10. I believe.
FedEx Orange, Miami: The game is being played in Pro Player Stadium. Although the Pro Player Bowl sounds as ghetto as, say, the Carquest Bowl (a plateau in Miami sports history, doubtless), eh, I don't even know where I was going with this. Shouldn't this just be 2 on 2? Leinart-Bush versus White-Peterson? Southern Cal is looking to defend its title. Oklahoma is looking to win another one in Miami. Leinart is better than Weinke, and SC is better than FSU was. SC wins a close one.
Zuletzt: As frustrated as I was yesterday - and not entirely with the mystery girl...I owe her an apology: more on this in a second - I said only one thing over the top: the comment about not calling, so as to steel myself for not hearing from her, or what have you. I enjoy hearing from her. I really do, very much so. And I didn't mean for that to be interpreted as sarcasm.
As for the apology to the mystery girl (however "emotionally retarded", you're damn well smart enough to figure out I'm talking about you...were I to lay bets, you're significantly smarter than am I), I'm sorry. A lot of the frustration I feel is a result of me emotionally sorting through our relationship, figuring out where we stand and reconciling that with where I wish we stood. But a significant minority of it was due to circumstances beyond your control (some of these involve our relationship, but most don't). And I have no right to take out frustration on you which isn't caused by your actions, or things under your control. For that, I'm sorry. And I hope that I can be forgiven.
Comments:
Post a Comment
