13.12.04
College Football: What does it say about the ACC expansion that 1-2 in both ACC player of the year and ACC coach of the year were Va Tech-Miami? ACC POY was won by Bryan Randall, with Miami QB Brock Berlin finishing a distant second. Coach of the Year was won by Frank Beamer, with Miami coach Larry Coker finishing a distant second. Those haters who had Tech ranked 6th in the preseason had to recognize. And the best part is that the ACC came out of this a winner: they got to pimp an ad hoc championship game, and one expected to be competitive at that. I'm seriously thinking about going down to N'Awlins for the New Year and sticking around until Tuesday. Don't think that's happening, but we'll see.
Sometimes I'm too easily distracted: Car accidents suck. especially ones where the airbags deploy. Trust me on this. I glance to the side, and end up taking the car with me. Now I have to deal with (a) fixing - or not - the car and (b) fixing some guy's fence (it's plastic, but I think that I - or my insurance company - is going to have to shell out for a plastic post and a rail or two). And I'm stuck driving the War Wagon for the time being. I think that all that needs to be said there is that to say that the war wagon drives like shit is diplomatic. Or an understatement. Or both. The less said, the better. And I'm not bitter at all (even though, yes, it was my fault).
The Soap Opera: It's official: I've been sloughed off. We talked about how I'm trying to make her the bad guy so I have an excuse not to like her (I'm not sure I buy it; I just think that I pushed harder than she would have liked). She said that she doesn't call daily (or whatever) because she wants me to be accustomed to it when her ex is in town (because she pursues the oh-so-emotionally-healthy policy of seeing him to the exclusion of all else. Not that I had any illusions). And that she is actively trying to avoid meeting me in person because she doesn't want the relationship (whatever it is) to progress, so as not to hurt me. She actually said that she's keeping the relationship where it is to save me from myself (something about how I'm becoming more attached to her than vice versa). Her intentions are good, but you know what they say about the road to hell. Right now I'm trying to focus on her good intentions, but, when I think about it, my brain screams one word (and variations): "Condescendion!" I almost asked - and I regret that I didn't - her how, exactly, I was supposed to learn from what mistakes I had made if I was being protected from their consequences.
And about her not calling? I've decided to accept it, to embrace it, even. I've decided not to call her either, so as to steel myself for those times when I wouldn't be awakened at 1 in the morning by her calling from some backcountry road. And so I'm not disappointed when I call and am told "Can I call you back? I'm watching [fill in craptastic TV show here]."
During our last conversation (where she pretty well admitted she was sloughing me off), I made a joke that we ought to get together for Maryland's bowl game. I got hung up on. I, of course, called back, but the phone didn't get answered (shocker, eh?) I, being the person I am, left a voice mail apologising for being an ass and making the joke. To be frank, I wish I hadn't. Because I can't see what's so damn offensive there. And if she can't accept me ribbing her about something that distant from her (not like she plays on the team, much like my only connection to the Hokies is as a fan and consumer of merchandise) then any relationship - as friends, lovers, whatever - won't work out. Because I bust on my friends and they bust on me (speaking of which, is it a low blow to have bet someone on the last 6 Wizards games, knowing that they didn't know the opponents? Someone made that offer, and I figured that it's the Wizards, so I'd do no worse than breaking even - but nope. I'm out $20).
At this point, I'm ready to write off the friendship. But at least I can take comfort in the fact that I'm not the only emotional moron here. Maybe that's why I'm sticking around. Because there's someone emotionally as stupid as me. And here I was hoping - at least initially - that we could help each other grow and become, if not emotionally smart and healthy then at least less emotionally retarded. Shit, maybe I've learned something here. So my hope was fulfilled, even if it wasn't done so in the most positive way. Maybe.
Fuckit.
More at some later date. R.
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